Wednesday, February 5, 2014

reality (and large water mammals)

Sometimes, I feel like a beached whale.

This is not a very pretty thing to say about oneself, but it's the truth. And lately, when words haven't been coming easily, and I've been struggling to find content to fill my posts, something that never occurred to me was to simply speak the truth.

So, to be perfectly honest, over the past few days I've felt like a beached whale floundering in sand, dry and slow and struggling. I have not been quite my sunny optimistic self, and I've spent a lot of time lying on the floor staring into space this week, because I'm listless and I don't know what else to do. It's not very much fun.

 It's easy to pretend on the internet. "Oh yes, things are fine and wonderful and I'm absolutely always this sparkly and happy and why thank you for asking, I really am this awkward IRL." Not that I'm pretending, because normally I am sparkly and happy and awkward IRL. (Or at least I like to think so.)

But sometimes I get sad. Or grumpy. And I yell at the people I love and my footsteps feel like they're carrying the weight of the world and I get lonely even when I'm surrounded by people. And then I'm not very sparkly or happy or awkward, just sort of grumpy and clumpy and irritable.

I'm not really sure where I'm going with this, or why I felt the need to draw a comparison between myself and an enormous water mammal, but this is how I've been feeling and right now it's very important that you know that.
This is my life right now, the good and the not-so-pretty, and that's the truth.

photo credit to Hannah

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