I seem to sort of fluctuate between feeling change very intensely and not feeling it at all.
I mean, today was my very last day ever of homeschool co-op. Ever. And I've been spending my Friday mornings at this place with these people since I was eight year old. Half my life. A lot of the people there feel like my family - my own wonderful community that I have to say goodbye to, because I'm heading off to public high school in the fall.
So I'm feeling that right now.
And then there's my 16th birthday, and you know what? I barely noticed. It's completely ridiculous...16 is THE AGE, you know. You can drive when you turn 16, so I've been looking forward to this birthday forever. (When I was twelve I was convinced that by my 16th birthday I'd have a boyfriend and somehow be able to drive a car all on my own RIGHT ON MY BIRTHDAY and I would be this mature adult-person instantly. Hahaha-no. Believe it or not, life doesn't work like that! Can you imagine?) And to be perfectly honest, I don't feel even a mite different than I did on my thirteenth birthday. or my fourteenth. Or my fifteenth. And I know I've changed since then, but it really doesn't feel like it.
Which is weird.
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Maybe it's slowed down a bit? The first ten years of your life are so jam-packed with growing...and maybe I feel funny because it's slowing down a bit? (I mean, I've stopped sprouting four inches every few months. I don't think I've grown any taller since I was thirteen or fourteen. It's so funny to be SHORTER than people now - because when I was younger, I was always a head taller than everyone else.)
I don't know. But I don't mind too much. I mean, it doesn't really matter how I feel about being sixteen, because I am, whether I want to be or not.
Deep thoughts, I know. But that's okay. ☺ I'm kind of rambling now. It's just strange. Change is strange - which rhymes.
Cool.
But yeah. I don't know. I really don't. And I'm kind of scared. I mean, I've never been to public school before. So that should be fun and terrifying. Maybe mostly terrifying. But, you know. It'll be okay. It always is.
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| photo credit - Hannah |
I mean, today was my very last day ever of homeschool co-op. Ever. And I've been spending my Friday mornings at this place with these people since I was eight year old. Half my life. A lot of the people there feel like my family - my own wonderful community that I have to say goodbye to, because I'm heading off to public high school in the fall.
So I'm feeling that right now.
And then there's my 16th birthday, and you know what? I barely noticed. It's completely ridiculous...16 is THE AGE, you know. You can drive when you turn 16, so I've been looking forward to this birthday forever. (When I was twelve I was convinced that by my 16th birthday I'd have a boyfriend and somehow be able to drive a car all on my own RIGHT ON MY BIRTHDAY and I would be this mature adult-person instantly. Hahaha-no. Believe it or not, life doesn't work like that! Can you imagine?) And to be perfectly honest, I don't feel even a mite different than I did on my thirteenth birthday. or my fourteenth. Or my fifteenth. And I know I've changed since then, but it really doesn't feel like it.
Which is weird.
.jpg)
Maybe it's slowed down a bit? The first ten years of your life are so jam-packed with growing...and maybe I feel funny because it's slowing down a bit? (I mean, I've stopped sprouting four inches every few months. I don't think I've grown any taller since I was thirteen or fourteen. It's so funny to be SHORTER than people now - because when I was younger, I was always a head taller than everyone else.)
I don't know. But I don't mind too much. I mean, it doesn't really matter how I feel about being sixteen, because I am, whether I want to be or not.
Deep thoughts, I know. But that's okay. ☺ I'm kind of rambling now. It's just strange. Change is strange - which rhymes.
Cool.
But yeah. I don't know. I really don't. And I'm kind of scared. I mean, I've never been to public school before. So that should be fun and terrifying. Maybe mostly terrifying. But, you know. It'll be okay. It always is.
I had the same feeling when I turned 16 back in December. It's the age I've always wanted to be and now I'm like, "Okay, so, now what?". Change *is* strange.
ReplyDeleteYou asked me about book recommendations - sorry I took so long to get back to you! Here are a couple books that I love:
1. The Queen's Thief series by Megan Whalen Turner (the first book "The Thief" wasn't my favorite, but the next three are wonderful!)
2. Anything by E. Nesbit. Like 'The Enchanted Castle', 'House of Arden', and 'Five Children and It'. Classic children's fantasy.
3. The Mysterious Benedict Society trilogy by Trenton Lee Stewart.
Here's a link to my GoodRead's "Favorites" shelf if you'd like to see more! http://www.goodreads.com/review/list/5248315-hannah-mary?shelf=favorites
~Hannah :)
Thinking about the future and change kind of freaks me out sometimes too. It gives me this tingly feeling in my stomach when I think about what life might be like in five years or ten years and what friends I'll have, what experiences I'll have, how I'll be different. But I agree with you, that it's kind of exciting to find out what the future holds.
ReplyDeleteHappy belated birthday by the way!