Today's the first day of school after Christmas break, and I'm sitting in a coffee place close to campus in between classes. The hot chocolate they serve here has real chocolate in the bottom of the cup, and I have to stir mine every few minutes so it won't settle - it's the best cocoa I've ever had. They've already decorated for Valentine's day even though Christmas was last week, and there are red sparkly hearts dangling from the light fixtures on the ceiling. It's kind of nice, I think, to always be looking forward. What's next? What can we celebrate today?
I've never been the type of person who writes (or keeps!) her New Year's Resolutions, but I tackled it a little differently this year. Last week, even though it was still technically 2016, I opened my journal to a fresh page and thought, what do I actually want to change this year? What growth am I ready to commit to, what plans can I make that I will actually be motivated to keep? And it worked -
I wrote a short list, only five or six goals for myself. Trust God more. Let go of things. Plank for a minute every morning (I've already missed as many days as I've made on this one, but that's okay.) But when people ask me what I'm aiming for this year, it comes down to two things.
Look in the mirror less.
I want 2017 to be less about me, about how I look or what makes me feel good or what I want out of life - less time spent looking in the mirror, patting invisible out-of-place hairs back where they belong and crying over pimples I can't wish away, anyway. I want 2017 to be less concern over what people think of me, and whether or not I should put mascara on before going out tonight, and if people will notice the bags under my eyes that I'm looking at for the fifth time today.
I want to stop judging my body and caring more about how I look than where I am and who I'm with.
I want 2017 to be intentional - about smiling at people I know, and people I don't. I want to smile at the people I love, and the people who just drive me nuts. I want to smile when I feel amazing, smile on purpose, smile with my eyes and my face and my whole entire heart - I want to smile when I'm feeling sad, and admit to people that things aren't perfect, but there is still good in my life. I might be sad, but I know that there are still things to smile about, and I want to spend 2017 searching for those things. I want to pour God's love out to people every chance I get, and start looking for opportunities to love others even when it's hard.
I'm excited about a new year... a fresh slate, with "no mistakes in it yet," as Anne of Green Gables once said. I'm excited for new adventures, and closer friendships, and mysteries I haven't even begun to unravel yet. I'm excited for another year with God, another year being loved by Him and trying to figure out how to love him back. I'm excited.
Do you make New Year's resolutions? What do you want to do more/less of? What are you excited for in 2017?
love, love, love,