Tuesday, May 26, 2015

flowers and ferris wheels // change

//flowers on the dining room table//

Does anyone else feel like everything is
suddenly changing?
like the drop in your stomach
when the ferris wheel
begins a downward cycle
even if you'd rather stay at the top,
pulled forward and back towards earth
even though you can 
see the sun better
from up high.
everything is ending,
school draws to a close,
thinning and narrowing
in the single-minded plunge towards
that one word ominous like a judge's gavel
but even heavier this year

this last year.

Does anyone else feel like now
we're different people than we were?
we've known we weren't children anymore
been trying to believe it for a 
long, long time
but today it feels real, like you've outgrown your own skin
and you look at yourself
and wonder what to do now
these hands that are totally, completely your own
now reaching forward to grasp a future
that you aren't sure you want to hold
just yet
the far-away decisions press ever closer
these hands

look very, very small.

Does anyone else feel lost?
but also excited, like
you never even knew there was this much world
to get lost in, and
it's time to go exploring?
like, yeah these hands are small
but there's a lot of room between them
and my heart is wide, wide open.
just watch.
I do not feel ready to tackle
this great big world
but I know

I am.

so-o, growing up is...weird? anyone else, or am I totally crazy? ☺ tell me what fun and scary / exciting new things are happening to you this summer!



  1. Olivia, this post is so on point. You put into (beautiful) words just how I've been feeling lately. How do you do that?

    1. Hannah I'm just so glad that I'm not the only one who feels like this! it's been throwing me for an (emotional!! yikes!) loop for a few weeks now, and I didn't even mean to write this, I just sat down and it sort of...happened. :p

  2. You have a beautiful way with words, and I love these photos you paired with your writing! Just came across your blog, and I look forward to reading your posts!
    Have a wonderful day!

    1. Thank you so much, Lauren! :) I'm so glad you liked it!

  3. Dear Olivia,

    Oh my goodness, girl. You are a true treasure. Just always know that, okay? This poem is touching, beautiful, and so relatable. <3 I love it. And I totally know what you mean. I also loved the ferris wheel metaphor -- that's a perfect way to describe this feeling. You're going to be fabulous, Olivia. You're going to shine. I know because you're already dreaming and inspiring people -- and that is a wonderful, invaluable head start. "I do not feel ready to tackle this great big world, but I know I am." < Those last lines are chilling, gorgeous and so true. You rock.


    1. Abbie, you are so sweet. Thank you so much for this uplifting+encouraging comment. <3 You are crazy-awesome, girl! Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me. :)

  4. Yes, growing up. It's exactly how you described it - a combination between wonder and despair. I'm especially relating to that 'single-minded plunge towards EXAMS.' :P Anyway, we can only look forward to when they're over. :) You write really well, by the way. I definitely enjoyed reading this post. :)


Comments from you make my day! ♥ True story.