Hence "Control pt II."
My epiphany actually started this morning, after I woke up from a horrid dream in which someone close to me died. I've never experienced a loss like that in the real world, but in my dream it was dreadful. It left a huge impression on me, because I've never felt a loss that final before in my life.
I suppose it's silly, considering it was only a dream. It wasn't even a fully realistic dream (few of them are) but that terrible feeling of permanent loss -- that was way, way too personal.
I've been kind of pondering it all day, because as I said in my first post on control, I struggle with entrusting the people close to me to God. I want to keep them all safe -- I find it immensely hard to trust that God's plan is better for them than mine could ever be.
I know God loves them more than I do, but even if the best thing for them is heaven, that still leaves me down here!
As I was thinking about this, trying to comprehend HOW I could even begin trying to trust God with something (or someone) so important to me, I realized something crucial. Not only does God love my family much more than I ever could, He ALSO loves ME far more than I love myself.
Because no matter how many people leave me, I’ll always have Jesus. I’ll never have to suffer that empty feeling alone.
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." - John 16:33
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." - Joshua 1:9